#i didnt want to make a perfect character

[mmprviolet]

My wild Krattsona is their security specialist which is a fancier way of saying she's the only own who knows how to fight. She has blonde hair and wears a pink creature power suit. Her personality is fairly serious but she has her share of mishaps such as the time she tried making everyone dinner but accidentally used waxed paper instead of parchment.

[tenderjock]

I’m with you, my love The lights shining through on you Yes, I’m with you, my love It’s the morning and just we two

[burningfunobject]

S2 arcane spoilers!!

Anyone else notice how dim viktors eyes look in the new season like

And it's like this for nearly every other shot

Compared to his eyes in s1

And he's rlly out of character too

And sure that could be the trauma of EVERYTHING that's happened

But I feel like it's more than that

The hexcore is controlling him obviously so maybe we'll see him try to fight against it??

I really hope he does bc I don't think the whole magic arcane Jesus thing is really working for me tbh

OR if he doesn't manage to get free of the hexcore maybe he decides to lean into it by baking himself even more robotic buy powered by hextech or whatever the new equivalent would be

I've also been thinking maybe he'll start upsetting the chem barrens?? But it seems kinda unlikely

[moonlit-orchid]

These two lines in the movie make me the most mentally unwell.

"I should have been the one to go. You needed your mother more than you needed me."

The amount of layers to this, oh my god. He's blaming himself for being alive. He probably wants to die. He genuinely thinks Adrian needs Emilie more.

And it's been YEARS since Emilie's passed away. Look how tiny Adrian is over there, he only just about comes about the bedpost. Gabriel still looks like he did in the pictures of when Adrian was little. It's been literal years. It could have literally been a full decade ago.

And Gabriel breaks the narrative here. He's supposed to be telling a story, he's supposed to be saying what happened in the past. But at this point, he doesn't say "your mother was taken from us" or anything like that referencing Emilie's passing. The story breaks, he's using a statement. I should have been the one to go. It's completely out of the story, because he isn't saying what he felt then, there's no "I felt like I should have been the one to go". It's just "I should have been."

Because he still thinks this. It's been about a decade, and his opinion, his feelings about this, is still "I should have died". It interrupts his storytelling because of how strongly he feels this way, almost like it's a fact to him.

And then he follows it with "You needed your mother more than you needed me." Again, he says this like it's a fact, like Adrian actually did need his mother more. Because he believes it himself. And this could be because of so many things. It could be because of the way people consider the mother to be the one supposed to care for the children much more than the father, or it could be that Gabriel himself didn't see how much Adrian needed him, or even that Gabriel didn't see himself as useful to Adrian. Especially because he said he should have been the one to die. He's essentially saying he was useless. That he was expendable but Emilie wasn't. He literally is implying he doesn't see any worth in himself regarding being a father.

And then it's not just his grief, it's Adrian's grief that has him desperate to bring Emilie back. He literally doesn't care about himself, he wants his son to be happy and doesn't see himself as able to do that. He loves him to the point of being suicidal and self-sacrificing if it would give Adrian what he need, all while simultaneously not seeing himself as what Adrian needs because he doesn't think he has that much worth regarding him.

[paimonial-rage]

antipathy - kaeya

leftovers from the [random writing event]

You knew it from the moment you were presented before him as a new knight trainee. It was evident within him from the narrowing of his star-pointed eye to the quirk at the corner of his lips. Despite standing in the third row far from the front, it was as if he could sense your presence in an instant. You immediately shrunk under his gaze.

He hated you.

Though he could hide it well, it was ever present as he led you all into training. When you lagged out of breath at the end of the crowd, he did not stop for you. Though he aided others and provided instruction to those struggling to put up their tents, he had no help for you. And then those jokes about deceit and betrayal he shared around the campfire. Was he trying to dig the knife of guilt even deeper into your back?

The worst part was that you deserved it. You deserved his disdain. If you didn’t let fear of disownment convince you to follow through with your mother’s underhanded schemes, perhaps he would smile at you as he had in the past. You knew it was wrong. But when push came to shove, you didn’t speak up when given the chance and soon your lies were revealed before the crowd. 

Your parents abandoned you at the first chance they got, claiming you let your supposed obsession over becoming the next Ragnvindr matriarch convince you to act as you did. But when their involvement was brought to light, they turned to blaming each other. In the end, your family became disgraced amongst the nobles of Mondstadt, thus losing their connections and prestige. 

It was the following years after that finally made you see your parents in a new light. Instead of changing their ways for the better as you hoped, your parents sunk even further into corruption in an attempt to regain their status and riches. How they even tried to rope you into it, sending you to various galas to create connections and setting up various scandalous incidents to secure you a spouse. It all was so shameful. Embarrassing.

How odd it was that you feared disownment so greatly in the past, for one day, you suddenly broke. Gathering the few jewels you had left, you left the family home you lived in since childhood and moved into a small studio in the south of the city. Vowing to change, you did the first thing you could think of and signed up to be a knight. It was foolish and short-sighted, you knew, but how else could you atone?

But meeting Kaeya again for the first time… your heart twisted with shame. You wanted to give up. You wanted nothing more than to leave and return home. You should’ve known it well. Becoming a knight was too good for you. You were nothing but the same scum as your parents. 

So it was a wonder how, despite consistently lagging at the back of the group, you found yourself going to training everyday. You were not a knight. You were not a fighter. You wanted to give up. And still yet, there you were pulling yourself out of bed every day. ‘Tomorrow,’ you found yourself saying, ‘you would turn in your sword tomorrow.’

How despaired you were when that day never came. Even during the last test before knighthood where you were beaten to the ground during sparring and struggling at the back of the group during the march, there you were always pulling yourself back up to your feet. And when you were passed and entered probation, nothing could damper the joy you felt in your chest, even when you knew you didn’t deserve it.

And you really didn’t, you knew that well. You were merely wearing the mask of a knight, desperately trying to convince yourself that if you wore it well, it would replace the filth you were beneath. In the back of your mind, you knew it would come back one day to bite you. More than anything, you were the child of your parents. You were watered by the same polluted stream as them. But surely it wouldn’t come so soon, right? You could convince yourself you were living free.

And it was like that for a bit. Probation was much easier than the sessions as a trainee knight. The short expeditions around Mondstadt were refreshing, as were the patrols made around the city. Some nights you were up late while others in the hot of the sun. The knights, being the rowdy bunch they were, didn’t know your past and warmed up to you quickly. They were your friends. For the first time in your life, living was… it was nice. Warm. Wonderful. 

And then it ended. 

It happened during a debriefing before your squadron. 

Before the crowd the Cavalry Captain spoke of how the reconnaissance team dug up a covert drug operation taking place between the Fatui and some of the people of Mondstadt. It was all run of the mill as he was speaking of it, but when he mentioned a man being spotted of the same hair color and height as your brother, your blood began to run cold. Surely your family didn’t fall that far, did they?

The moment you were freed that evening, it was to the family home you went. And just as you feared the most, there in the storehouses in the back were the drugs spoken about not hours before. It was easy, too easy. Of course your family didn’t have the smarts nor foresight to hide them better. But before you could leave to report your findings, there your brother was waiting for you at the door. 

Instead of treating you with sneers and berating you for leaving the family home, upon his face was a grin. How perfect that you came home when you did. If you didn’t, he would have visited you himself. After all, how fortuitous it was for the family that you became a knight. By sidling up to the Grand Master, you could gain all the knowledge your family needed to avoid the knights’ notice with his illicit business dealings. 

When you tried to back away, however, he became enraged. After all your family did for you, were you going to abandon them when they finally had the chance to rise again? Sure you had been running with the knights for a few months, but did you really think doing so would change you? After all, the same blood that ran through your family ran through you. Nothing you did would change that. With a sigh, your brother shook his head. It was about time you gave up on that foolish dream.

So when your brother held his hand out for you to join him, you froze still. And when he told you to give in and listen to him, tears filled your eyes. Was it really true? Was a filthy scheming noble all you would ever be? 

“N-No,” you finally got out, hands shaking as you pulled out your sword. “This is wrong. I… I am one of the Knights of Favonius. I stand on the side of the people of Mondstadt. A-And if you choose to stand in the way of that, I will not hesitate to bring you down.”

You must have been quite the sight as you stood there shaking as tears fell from your eyes, for your brother laughed. As he snapped his fingers, his lips curled into a grin as thugs began to step out from behind the building surrounding you. 

“That’s a shame, First. Not that I’m surprised. You always were the disappointment of the family.” Turning around, he then snapped his fingers once more. “Boys, take care of them.”

Your heart dropped into your stomach as the thugs began to close in. Taking steps back, you waved your sword in front of you in an effort to keep them back. Was this it? Was this penance for always following along with your family’s schemes? If so, this was what you deserved, wasn’t it? Your eyes shut in shame. What a fool you were to think you could ever change. 

But before they could lay their hands on you, a loud shout cried out. Then came the sound of footsteps, many of them. Eyes shooting open, you gasped to see your brother apprehended upon the ground as your fellow knights swarmed the thugs. 

“First!? Did you actually lead them here? How dare you do this to your family!” Your brother cursed as he tried to wrestle himself free from the person holding him down. “You betrayed us. How could you!?”

But before you could respond, another voice answered, “They ‘betrayed’ you? No, I’d say you betrayed them. All they wanted was to live peacefully while the rest of you forced them to obey.”

You jumped when a hand suddenly fell upon your head patting it gently. Then, with the grace of a swan, the Calvary Captain then took his place before you. As he gazed at your brother, he shook his head and sighed. “Really, you have no one to blame but yourselves. You were the ones that pushed them to this point, after all.”

As your brother was dragged away kicking and screaming, there you stood before Captain Kaeya, your shoulders drawn and your hands shaking. Sure, he may have stood up for you, but that didn’t mean he fully believed you. You saw the way he used to look at you. But what could you say? 

“Captain Kaeya, I–”

He laughed.

“Oh, there’s no reason to be looking like that, First. Someone will think I scolded you. Surely you don’t want Lisa to scold me, do you?” he asked with a laugh. 

But his words did not bring assurance. Shame bubbled in your stomach.

“Should I turn in my sword tomorrow? Now that my role is done and all, I mean,” you managed to get out. 

If you had been looking up at him, you would have seen his eye widen in surprise. 

“What do you mean?”

You did your best to stand without drawing your shoulders in or gripping your scabbard tightly to assuage your nervousness. 

“You accepted me into the knights to find the perpetrators behind the drug smuggling incident. That’s why you followed me this evening, right? If not to catch me in the act, to catch my family.” Your shoulders dropped that time. 

“Wait,” he began as he held a hand out. “I may have followed you, but it was only for your safety. I had no doubt that you would stand firm against your family.”

You shook your head. 

“There’s no need to lie to me, Captain Kaeya. I know you don’t trust me after what I did to your brother.”

He sighed. 

“When you first applied for the knights, I admit I had my reservations. But not even I can deny the dedication I saw. And then after hearing more about your family from Eula, I…” You then felt a hand on your shoulder. “You’ve been going through a lot this whole time. I’m… sorry for taking so long to realize that.”

Your shoulders drew even more in as tears filled your eyes. 

“You’ll be a great knight, First,” he said with a kind smile. “You’re more than your family will ever be. You have to believe that.”

You nodded, sniffling as tears fell down your cheeks. He laughed.

“Oh dear, now Lisa will really scold me. Let’s head back to the headquarters. How does hot cocoa sound? I’m sure the Spark Knight will want a cup too.”

You nodded once more and followed him back to the place you belonged.

[makotonaegiunderstander]

something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.

“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”

[nickbutnodick]

i watched mufasa today and was writhing in agony the whole time. partially because it was ugly. partially because the plot sucked. and not as much because i had horrifying period cramps.

[steeltwigz]

Saw a post abt the Sonic movies that was like "plz filter negativity posts better" which is GOOD AND TRUE you should be doing that. Ok. But then they kept going to imply that the criticisms of the Sonic movies are all entirely Personal and Ignorable and not like. Usually abt the horrific copaganda, misogynistic writing, and Paramount's disgusting zionism.... Guys a lot of ppls problem w the Knuckles show wasn't JUST a bastardization of Knuckles' character or thinking Wade was annoying or whatever, but like was focused on the grotesque Zionist message from that one episode 😭😭😭 you can enjoy something and still recognize that it has intrinsic and huge glaring flaws and talk abt them. I think actually you Should be speaking up abt the misogyny, zionism and propaganda the SCU supports and discusses, ESPECIALLY if you like the movies! Its important to be able to recognize these things in media and admit that even media you personally enjoy can be deeply problematic, instead of hiding it away and pretending those HUGE FLAWS aren't issues actually....

[softgaycontent]

really enjoying fields of mistria and the character designs r so cute tho I'm sad that even in a game that's trying there's still not masc women 😭

[droodlebug]

i'm for sure not finishing veilguard. i set it down a while and tried again and ahh i'm just not enjoying it. the characters dont have a depth im looking for.. the insertion of a writer's white guilt onto the elves that are based on real life indigenous people and have been in-games enslaved and treated horrifically and are the ones who don't have "real" gods that are actually just blighted tyrants. everything with taash and the qunari. the gameplay was fun for a while but then it made my hand so numb i couldnt do anything for a week. the last straw was taash's gender talk that suddenly turned into picking a cultural identity for them to align with out of nowhere and then soon after learning that Another antagonist is of course an elf. starting to feel like their implying that all elves become evil when given power jfc. i think i'm actually done with it it started making me feel gross and bored. i don't care if you enjoy it or not, everyone's got a different threshold it just crossed mine.

[gece-misin-nesin]

can't believe there are ppl who don't like lost days wtf. not even the end scene, they just don't like jason's character and motivations in it. i mean, i always thought lost days jason>utrh jason so 🤷‍♀️

[netherdevil]

unnormal vivilly dweller thoughts in my head

[mipexch]

okay i've been curious about ultrakill can ya sell me on it (if you're in the mood to ramble)

the beginning of the game offers you all the context you need to know; mankind is dead, blood is fuel, & hell is full. youre a robot with the model name 'V1' currently approaching hell in an effort to get the fuel you need. (blood is also used as a healing mechanic!) i'd say more, but seeing how things go down & figuring out the lore as you go is one of the things that made me really enjoy my time with the game.

it's an fps with a shit ton of weapons and movement mechanics that (despite how stressful it may be at first) come into play very well once you learn how everything works in part with one another. even if you don't get a good grasp on it, there are accessibility settings for everyone. difficulty settings, auto-aim, & a cheat mode really help! (do know that major assists will not let you achieve a perfect rank on levels. this doesn't include difficulty or auto-aim though) it's a really tough game when you first play, so expect to use at least one of these things.

the soundtrack for the game really heightens the experience & makes you feel so much.?!??!? the ost isn't for everyone, but i never enjoyed breakcore before i played this game so i suppose its worth a shot, even if you don't think much of it at first. going through the game & understanding some of the lore before coming back to the ost for another listen really changes a lot of things about it. the characters are really cool & with the way the story is going thus far, i'm. unnecessarily excited for future updates. there's still one more act in production along with a few more secret levels. so if you do end up playing the game and want more, (aside from the huge replay-ability the game offers) there is more to come! the fanbase is also surprisingly very nice. knowing my followerbase i should probably mention that this game has a quite a bit of homoeroticism if you look at a certain fight from a specific angle. im not gonna say anything though

ultrakill isn't a huge game, so don't go in with extremely high expectations, as again this game probably isn't for everyone. but as someone who hasn't played any fps before, i really, really enjoyed this game. it has a very serious tone, but there's tons of funny secrets that make it feel a lot more lighthearted at times. the devs put their whole heart and soul into this shit & the community is growing really fast! if youre thinking about getting the game, go for it. thy end is now!

[gh0st-city]

Thinking about Azula again...

[northern-passage]

Genuine thought as a fellow trans dude, I’ve seen a lot of (obviously non-serious) questions on other blogs about characters’ genitals such as “how does it look like?” and similar, and I think we all know & understand that such questions are extremely inappropriate to ask and (I hope) no one would actually go around asking these questions irl. Idk, I think we should treat trans characters just like cis ones, without any special “precautions”, so to normalise them and not make cis people treat them like fragile boxes, a thing which happens to a lot of us irl. Hope this doesn’t come off as an attack or anything lol.

no worries, i didn't take this as an attack at all. i actually agree with you, that's why i mentioned feeling conflicted about it and also mentioned that i've changed my stance on how i felt about handling Noel and Clementine in game and in explicit intimate scenes.

however, for me the problem comes from the fact that people... don't ask these kinds of questions about cis characters? i suppose people do get cheeky "who is the biggest 🤪" asks but i would hardly compare the two. to be a bit crude, no one is going to be asking if a cis character has a dick or not, or "what does it look like". of course it's natural for people to be curious, and i honestly encourage the open discussion and am happy to see trans bodies being talked about more in a positive way, but not everyone is going to be comfortable with it due to the inescapable transphobia online and in the community. sending me that kind of ask is like sending out an invitation for a debate or a discussion that i don't necessarily want to have. i also just don't think people should default to asking a random IF author on tumblr dot com to describe what bottom growth looks like.

and with most of these asks typically coming from someone who is anonymous, i have no way of truly knowing what the tone is, what their intentions are or why this is being asked - is it another trans person? or maybe someone who is just genuinely curious? or, more likely in my experience, is it someone who is going to immediately follow up this message with something transphobic after i answer? do i want to roll the dice and find out?

so while i agree with what you're saying, it's important to consider the context and the reality we live in. the IF community is not kind to trans people or trans characters. and as a trans person, my first priority is protecting myself and my mental health. so what i mean when i say "precautions," is that those precautions are for me, because i've had to deal with transphobic harassment here for years now, and i try to mitigate it as much as i can. it's also for my personal comfort - again, to be blunt, i'm simply just not comfortable discussing a trans character's genitals with anonymous strangers on the internet. it makes me feel vulnerable.

also i do want to say i didn't mean for any of that to come across as a dig at other authors - if you're comfortable answering those kinds of questions, that's really only something you can decide for yourself. like i said, this is just coming from my own experiences in IF and for my own personal comfort - i have previously talked a lot about trans stuff and gender and sexuality here, when i'm feeling up to it, but it is something that is very draining for me and can also be very upsetting.

basically: i do agree that it's important not to other trans characters or treat them any differently than cis characters, but i also think there are ways to do it that don't require me answering invasive questions or questions that i don't feel comfortable with as a real life trans person, you know what i mean?

[fisherrprince]

*Shakes you like a marionette* THANK YOU! You get it! I've been trying to tell people for -so long- that ARR (and post) is purposely taking its time to build up the characters, the story, the -entire world- that you're going to spend the next who-knows-how-many-hours/days/weeks/months exploring and adventuring and experiencing and -feeling- through! It might not be "the best paced", but god damn it if I still don't love all the random asides and non-plot moments that just -shapes everything-

(BANGS GAVEL)

LET THEM COOK!!!